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Category: Whimsical

Body Image | American Bodies

Salon.com Life | “We sing the body electric…”: It finally happened at 30my body left its confinesafter years of spinning turbinesthe cigarettes and wine glassesof twentysomething dating classes.The butt that never gained a thinga lure for men, a giggling thingthat danced all night in gowns once wornby tiny 20s movie stars.But now a meal lasts a great deal longerthan lingering eyes over wine and pastaand goes to my thighs like white on rice.Hey Mom – I’ve discovered cellulite!How now begins this epic battle?Will esteem drop with hips that waddle?I’ve heard the elders mutter bitterof tits that sag, how men must gagand that one day I’ll understand.But this precious territoryis sadly, only temporaryAnd it’s the only one I’ve gotfor life’s in motion, life is notthe perfect frozen laundry listthe measure of the men you’ve kissed,so let me die an onanist!– Zoe Greenberg, New York, N.Y.

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women from german speaking lands: ordnung und sauber nicht fellatio

but as a rule one would find houses in german speaking lands significantly cleaner with better bathrooms, while one would find the general level of culinary expertise significantly higher than in france.in exchange for their ability to keep a household in fine order, women from the german speaking lands do expect the man to participate in the general cleaning, even if the woman is ultimately responsible for the overall standard…. they would like to see him keep his own belongings in good order.moreover, they cannot abide (although they have to put up with it, at least in austria, where according to at least four or five women i have spoken to the men have trouble keeping their loins clean, partially because of their generally uncircumcised state – but not only; for this reason austrian women are very negative about oral sex, at least the performing of it, as past experience has taught them to expect a very unpleasant experience in taste and odour; once convinced of the cleanliness of the man their enthusiasm climbs substantially, and many even acquire a taste for fellatio) dirtiness in a man’s person.

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Who attends Dance (in America at least): Expanding Dance Audiences

Chicago Tribune | The selling of dance:Who attends dance performances?The Chicago Community Trust, with help from Prince Charitable Trusts, funded research that focused on the local dance audience…. A look inside the demographics of “dance attenders,” or those who have attend-ed one or more professional dance performances in the last year.71% are female (29 percent male).56 years old, on average.77% are white (12 percent Latino, 7 percent Black).63% are urban dwellers (37 percent live in suburbs).59% took dance classes growing up.60% do artistic or creative activities themselves.The number in there which really surprised me is that sixty per cent of those who attend dance, practiced at one point or another.

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Hey Northern Europeans – You’re Irrelevant! Warm Congratulations from San Francisco for Elfriede Jelinek

Big news in Austria over the last week has been the awarding of the Nobel Prize for literature to their citizen Elfriede Jelinek. A controversial writer even in Austria, this is a brave and forward-looking decision from the Stockholm-based jury.

Jelinek is no New York Times bestselling author. But not content with their president’s failed commandeering of the United Nations, many Americans would like to put the Nobel prize jurors in their place and assure a more level playing field for American writers.

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Best pun/simile of the week: Nora Jonestown

Apparently all is not well in the world of Blue Note fans. The worst thing to happen to them were the Grammies that Norah Jones won. The triumph of Capitalism with a capital C. Her success caused controversy on the company forums. The forums were taken down, scattering and angering the fan base which had kept the company running for twenty years.

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Google assumes no responsibility for any pet: growling, barking, chasing, or biting

Aggressive behavior, such as growling, barking, chasing, or biting, is unacceptable….Employees are financially responsible for any damage or cleaning to Google facilities…. Owners must maintain adequate liability insurance against dog mishaps. Google assumes no responsibility for any pet. Following these guidelines mentioned above should allow dog owners to enjoy the company of their pets while allowing all Google employees to feel safe and secure in their work place.

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